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Until I was ATM-eligible again in about twenty-two hours, I was more useless than that one time in fifth grade when I went to the mall arcade and only had two dimes. “Don’t you got an ATM, sweetie?” Jada asked, caressing the back of my neck. “Yep, but I already tried to take money out. It won’t let me. Sorry, girls – I’m broke.” Expecting to see them flee my hopelessness, they continued to walk alongside me as Jada persisted, “I’ll make you a deal: We find an ATM. If you get money, the three of us party all night. If your card denies you again, we give you a blowjob for free.” I stopped. “What?” “You heard her,” Sharane added. “If your ATM don’t work, we’ll suck yo' dick anyways.” This was too good to be true. To suddenly be offered a free blowjob from two girls who depended on such acts for survival was something completely foreign to an unlucky, threesome-blowing guy like myself. Because I am a believer that free blowjobs exist, I accepted their proposition as we made our way down. . well, it worked!I got up, to use the bathroom, and ordered some Chinese food. I did not want to cook!He was up when I walked back into the room, with arms outstretched. We started a tight long hug, and it turned into an easy comfortable kiss between mother and son.“Don’t worry, Baby,” he said. “He will be jail for a long time. He will lose his cushy job, and maybe, if we are lucky, he will get beat up a few times by someone who thinks he has a pretty face.”Instead of slapping him for that, we both laughed, waking up Jeri.“How are you doing, Mom?” she asked.“Better, because of how brave Richard was. Have you given him a big thank you kiss?”She giggled, climbed off the bed and they had a really beautiful kiss.I told everyone to change into dry clothes, and that Chinese food was coming.Just before it showed up, we got a call that Robbie’s partner in crime was picked up and arrested.He had admitted that it was all because of how I had spoken to him. I had no idea how vindictive he could.
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